Courage

"Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow" ~ Dan Rather

This was a quote that I had plastered all over the hospital walls as a means of encouragement for Bob. I never thought then that I would be the one learing it's lesson. But it's funny how life has a way of placing us in places we have no idea about.. Here I am now reading this quote and finding a lot of encouragement from it.

I've mustered up more courage in the last nearly 31 months than I ever thought I possessed. At first it was the courage to accept Bob's diagnosis and plod forward with deadly amounts of chemotherapy and radiation. Then it became the courage to to take care of Bob through his stem cell transplant and eventually the courage to learn the ins and outs of tracheostomy and feeding tube care. Finally in May, I was faced with the reality of Bob's death and I was once again knocking on Courage's door to accept and deal with grief and the death of my best friend and life partner. Through it all I was blessed with healthy amounts of courage and faith.

This past week I found myself looking for courage in a very different manner. I sought out courage to take and pass the national certification exam that now labels me as being Highly Qualified. After a very rocky start, I was able to complete the exam in record time, just over 1 hour! The preliminary result that the computer kicks out is that I passed very well but, until the little piece of paper is in my maibox, I won't fully believe it!

Courage has become my new way of life and because of my courage and my faith, I am equipped and able to march forward proudly.


~~ Rayne ~~