Sometimes You Have To Fall To Rise

Another lesson to learn.....another hard fall to endure. We've all heard the cliches about falling and getting back up or in some cases rising again. Well, thats me tonight. More lessons learned, more falling down and more getting up. I hate these lessons. I hate learning the lesson till you've learned it well. At 43 I should have learned most of life's lessons. I haven't.
This lesson is the hardest....guard your heart. I know that but I guess its been so long that I haven't had to really think about it. Bob was the only one to have my heart for 25 years and remembering how to "give a little" but stay closely guarded is, for me, a lost art. And I can tell you that I have already failed the first lesson. But I have a few more lessons close by and I am a fast learner, thank goodness!
The thing that really stinks is that I SHOULD not have to be in this situation. I SHOULD NOT be guarding my heart and emotions...I should be celebrating my middle years with the man I love. But God had other plans. Do you think He feels I didn't learn this lesson well enough the first time around? Maybe He has more in store for me than I know about and He is preparing the way and setting the stage. Maybe it's ME.
My defense is always to turn to prayer and once again, "Dear God, do You hear me? It's me Rayne." Patiently and silently I wait for God's will and way. His time and His plan..... As this unfolds I hope that I will be given the grace and ability to LEARN the lesson and be done.
Dear God, I love you. It's me-------
~~Rayne~~